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This site has been updated on December 2006

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Festive Gruel 


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Festive Gruel
and how to cook it

Did I hear someone say "Christmas again, humbug!" 
Are you a miserable git who cannot cook, or are you just too mean to spend your money on a Christmas lunch with all the trimmings?
For you and your fellow scrooges here is the ideal festive lunch menu, together with a recipe and instructions.

Festive Gruel

Vegetarians can omit the ham and use mushroom soup


Wash all vegetable, peal potatoes, retaining peel.  Put aside half a carrot. 
Chop all the vegetables.
Take a large saucepan add  some oil and butter. Brown the onions and then add a crushed stock cube, (chicken, beef or vegetable) stir well and the add two teaspoons of sugar.
Add all the chopped vegetables and stir well. Cook for a few minutes and then add approximately 0.5 litres (1pint) of boiling water.
Simmer for approximately 15 minutes or until the vegetables are well cooked (soft).
With a hand blender blend the liquor to thick lumpy texture.  Taste and season with salt and pepper to taste. Add can of soup (this can be omitted if you liked the taste without the soup) and reheat.

Dry the potato peel  and shallow fry in oil together with the bread sliced into fingers until both are golden brown.

Grate the carrot and finely chop the slice of ham.

Serve the Gruel garnished with grated carrot and chopped ham, with the fried bread and potato skins as a side dish.

Bon Appetite  all you miserable gits and scrooges.

The Finished Gruel,
 Recipe makes about 1.5 pints of Gruel

The Garnished Gruel

The fried bread and potato skins

Now that does not look bad for  less than 2.00
Merry Christmas, Humbug!


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