an irreverent look at Writtle Village, Essex, its people and goings on!
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This site has been updated on December 2006

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Welcome Page



From the Writtle PC



History of the Bells

New Bells June Dedication

Writtle Fun Day


Broadband Easter meeting

Writtle Annual Meeting

Writtle Local Elections

 Wear Pond Expansion

New Visitor to Writtle

Writtle Update

December 2002
They don't apply to me

Italian Job

Police Presentation

Previous issues

A Lid too Far

On the Buses Update

Village Meeting

Teddy Bears
Aerial Runway

Golden Jubilee Celebrations

Residents Association Meeting

Polo Shirt Offer

 April 2002
The Queen Mother

On the buses in Writtle

 The Hunting debate

 Feb 2002
Lodge Road
Traffic Calming


Feedback results

Police Picture

2001 fete
Cheque Presentation

2001 Archive
 Dec 2001

Christmas Fable

Community Policing Writtle Style

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Festive Gruel 


Pooper Snooper for Writtle?

Writtle Fete

All Saints Bell Appeal Barndance

Hannibal the Terrapin of Wear Pond

The Great Post Box debate Update 

Election Results

The Wheatsheaf Charity Golf Day Pictures 

Writtle Parish Annual Meeting

The Great Post Box debate

The Green After the Circus

Albania Calling

Election Information

Teddies Galore!

All Saints Bell Appeal

Wheatsheaf Charity Golf Contest


Previous Issues
April, May

Dog Poo
and related matters

Road traffic,  
a  problem?

On Writtle pond 

Fuel Prices etc

What is Art? 

What is Philosophy?

Toutejours in Brittle

A few hours in the life of a small village store.

0530  Early morning shift  arrives, fresh and ready for the rigours of meeting the early morning punters.

0545 Paper delivery arrives.  Papers need to be sorted and bundled and put out into shop floor.  Ensure each paper is placed in different place from yesterday.  Wakes up the customers! 

0555 Staff parade

0600 Bell rings, doors opened to staff chanting  “Welcome to Toutejours how can we help you?”

0610 Freezer and fridge temperatures checked. Fire for bread oven built with logs and yesterdays newspapers .

0630 First newspaper delivery persons arrive, pushbike lights removed. Quiet invisible delivery is Toutejours company policy.

0645 - 0730 Steady stream of customers

0730 First phone call received enquiring where their paper is or why have they received the Times in place of the Daily Sport.

0745 - 0845 Kids on their way to school.  Need to keep an eye out for shoplifters

0900 Early morning shift go home exhausted after 3 hours or so of trying to look happy. Morning shift arrive, seamless change over results in only 30 minute queue.

0930 Back to normal, time for staff training.
Customer care phrases  at Toutejours deciphered:
“Welcome to Toutejours how can we help you”  What do you want?
“Won’t be a minute”   Hang on I am far to busy to serve you.
“Have you the right money?”  Haven’t got a clue how the till works

1030  All going far too well. Steady flow of satisfied customers!  Staff sent on shelf restocking duties.

1045 Back to normal, 10 minute queue at checkout and queue getting longer every minute. Shelf restocking continues regardless. 

1100 Elderly person comes in to check 20 lottery tickets, queue up to 20minutes.
Air conditioning kicks in temperature in shop (tempers!) rising above 85 F.

1115 Enterprising  busker sets up outside shop, playing to  queues

1200 …… the saga continues,  until :

2200 shop closed  “But I got here at 5 pm”  “Sorry, you shouldn’t have left it to the last minute!”



Village Links
 Wheatsheaf Public House